Flash Fiction · How to be British

It won’t do

Friday, January 26, 2018. Daily Brit Wit.

It won’t do: 


Used to express the opinion that a particular person’s behaviour is unsatisfactory and won’t be allowed to continue.

I started a new trilogy! This one is rather fun, in my opinion, because I don’t generally wander into this genre. As always, thoughts are always welcome! (Part 1 of 3 of The Corner Haunting)


“I have never liked haunted houses. And I especially do not fancy legitimate houses that have been abandoned and rumoured to be haunted. I don’t believe in ghosts, really, but there’s no point in chancing that kind of situation; I would much rather be comforted in my ignorance.

Yet here I am allowing my boyfriend and his sister to convince me the house down the lane from Sarah’s home is the perfect place to explore.

‘Don’t be scared, Jessie.’ Caden says softly.

My eyes meet his and the brown colour is muted, open, ready to be trusted. I wonder what he sees in mine. I’m about to reassure him of my level of trust in him when Sarah opens her mouth.

‘It won’t do to act like a spooked girlfriend, Jessie; my brother will hold your hand regardless.’ Sarah scoffs from the kitchen table where she is busy assembling a small navy backpack. I think it’s supposed to be a combination of a medical kit and tools to properly bust into a house that wants visitors out. ‘Aren’t you beyond the point of that kind of behaviour?’

I groan under my breath.

‘Sarah,’ hisses Caden, ‘knock it off.’

As I place my hand on Caden’s arm, I situate myself out from my boyfriend’s unconscious placement between me and his sister to address the strawberry blonde. ‘You’re not making a convincing enough argument for us to go with you.’ I begin with hopefully more conviction than I feel. ‘I don’t do anything simply because you say so, Sarah.’

My words have officially garnered her attention. I stand straighter, positioning myself beside my boyfriend. I won’t let her continual scrutiny tests of my commitment to Caden persuade me.

‘Then stay here alone.’ she offers coolly, shrugging a single shoulder.

I raise my brows at the statement.

Caden, of course, has no clue what’s going on. He’s simply staring between the two of us, knowing he is missing something fairly obvious but unable to solve the dilemma.

I don’t point out to the older sibling that if I stay behind, her brother will, too. There’s no point, especially once I see her hazel eyes widen fractionally. I do not conceal my smirk.

‘There’s nothing in the house,’ Sarah says at last when she realises she isn’t going to win this the normal way. ‘At least, nothing supernatural. I’ve been in it before. It’s just a neat place to explore. That’s all.’

I hold her gaze for a beat, before glancing over at my boyfriend. Caden and I have a silent conversation where I incline my head and he shrugs then I make a face and he winces. It’s fairly productive, all things considered.

‘Okay, we’ll go. But no basements.’

‘The basement is the best part, Jessie!’

‘We’re open for negotiation.’

An understanding reached, we tug out coats and prepare to leave.”


© The Loyal Brit Wit, 2018


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