Fiction · Flash Fiction · How to be British


Sunday, August 13, 2017. Daily Brit Wit.


Verb, informal 

Feel a desire or liking for; BRITISH for attraction; to have an unduly high opinion of one's self and/or one's abilities; used to express surprise at something.

*Part 4/9 in A Warrior's Child series. Check out yesterday's Y-fronts if you'd like to stay up-to-date. 

"Loxley crouches, his form solid with the appropriate joints firm but not locked, his distinct eyes focussed ahead. Ajaxson circles him slowly. When the back of his son's left knee bends ever-so-slight, Ajaxson steps back at the same moment the child groans. The young vampire knows his mistake the moment it transpires.

'It itches!' Loxley defends, springing upward and contorting about until he can reach the afflicted area. He sighs happily.

Ajaxson swats at the digging fingers. 'What have I told you about mosquito bites?'

'Papa,' the lad whinges, not properly chastised. 'I know I'm not supposed to, but it really hurts!'

He sighs. 'Come here,' he motions him over, prompting Loxley to turn around so Ajaxson can examine the bug bite. There's a small bump steadily swelling and mars the creamy flesh a pinkish hue. 'Auntie forgot the spray, didn't she?'

'Yep!' He chirps and attempts to crane about to get a look.

Ajaxson lightly zaps the jittery boy with magic to still him.

'Yawouch!' He cries and startles.

'Sit still, would you?'

'Sorry, Papa.'

'It's all right. I know how the bites irritate you.'

'Aren't I supposed to be the one sucking blood and leaving marks?' Loxley rants.

'Lox!' Ajaxson fights hard not to chuckle and instead gives a light tug on the boy's shaggy hair. 'Was that joke necessary?'


Ajaxson prods at the bite tenderly and then heals it. 'No touching for the next five minutes.'

'You're punishing me! You can heal it faster than that!'

A raised eyebrow.

'Thank you for taking the itch away, Papa.' Loxley corrects himself quickly. 'How am I ever supposed to fancy myself a real vampire if I'm always eaten alive by bugs?'

'Why do I allow Auntie to watch you again?' Ajaxson asks rhetorically.

'Because she loves me!' Loxley answers with a wide grin. 'And because you love me and her.'

'That's debatable,' he grumbles. Then smirks at his child's affronted expression. 'Break's over.'

Instantaneously Loxley straightens up, back ramrod and chest puffed out. He slips into the pose again, muscles locking briefly before loosening enough to spring into action at a moment's notice.

'You're nine, small stature, outnumbered but you've been trained well,' Ajaxson speaks as he circles. 'There are three surrounding you. What's the first thing you do?'

'Attempt to identify them.' Loxley answers swiftly.

A nod. 'And if you're unable to identify their species?'

'Since I'll more likely have less of a magical core, I won't use my magic to attempt figuring it out.'

Ajaxson rolls his eyes with a fond smile.

'I'll assess weak spots.' He concludes.

'How could their weak spots benefit you?'

'They will most likely underestimate me.'


The lad breathes out softly as he formulates his response. 'My size.'

'What else?'

'My abilities?'

'What about them?' The warlock asks for clarification since his child responded uncertainly.

'My abilities,' he reaffirms with stronger conviction. 'Because I will be smaller than them, they will assume I am untrained or that I am unreliable.'

'Are those the only weaknesses?'

'No. Their height may place them at a disadvantage, too. My center of gravity is closer than theirs, so I'll be able to dart away.'

Ajaxson nods. 'If you are alone and unable to call for help, then what is your top priority?'

'To make it out unharmed.' Loxley recites fluidity. 'To save my strength, not to show my hand unnecessarily, and not to draw attention in the first place.'

'Well done,' the father praises. 'And should you find yourself in a situation where you will have to fight back…?'

'I attack physically first not magically.'

'Do you strike first or wait for your attackers?'

Loxley hesitates. '…it depends?'


'Well…I'm not supposed to show off right away,' he prefaces. 'But if I wait until they attack me first, then that puts me on the defensive.'

'Excellent.' Ajaxson nods in approval.

'So I would most likely wait until someone makes a grab at me.'

'All right. And where would you strike?'

'Aim at the knees, if I have a good enough shot.'


Loxley's eyes perk up, waits for his father's firm nod before falling out of his position. Then he walks to stand in front of his father, receives an encouraging hand motion, and the vampire taps the side of his parent's knee using his leg.


'If hit correctly, I'll knock the person to the ground. Hopefully put them down long enough to get away.'

'And the disadvantages?' His father queries.

'Hands and eye contact are the most dangerous,' he says, 'because I'd be so close. Also, I have to watch how much uumph I put behind my attack.'

Ajaxson laughs at the informal terminology. 'Quite right.'

Loxley beams.

'A couple more things,' he states. 'What ought always be your first use of magic?'

'My speed and then my strength.' The lad answers the follow-up.

'Why that particular order?'

'Because my speed is my greatest asset, but I also run the risk of combining the two and tiring quickly.'

'And why should you refrain from using your combined abilities?' Ajaxson presents his final question.

Loxley inhales slowly. 'Because it's too noticeable; it depletes my core; and I'm not ready yet.'

'Would you like to spar now?'

'Yes!' The child cheers and jumps several inches off the ground. 'Oops. Sorry!'

Ajaxson chuckles softly, shaking his head. He nudges his son to set up the mat and other equipment he would like to practise. As Loxley races across the room setting up, his father reflects on the session with a grin. His child is a quick study. Though there's loads to teach him yet, Loxley will one day be unstoppable."


5 thoughts on “Fancy

  1. You know, I see this as an animated series. Maybe because I am a huge animation /cartoon fan but I see it all playing as a really slick, gorgeous adult-style animation.
    Make it so! (*magic finger snap)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oooooh!!!! I didn’t think I could adore this story any more, but I think you just gave a fantastic suggestion!!! I hope this doesn’t disappoint with the remainder of the series šŸ˜€ hahaha Thank you for that lovely imagery!!


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