How to be British · Language


Thursday, July 27, 2017. Daily Brit Wit.


BRITISH term for television.

"Arlo believes the radiancy of the sun is deceiving, but doesn't expect the cunning star to be different in Wales than elsewhere in the United Kingdom. (If he had thought that way, it would be asinine, wishful thinking on his part.) Despite the sun's rays, the crisp breeze is bordering on brutal. At least it's not hidden behind clouds today. Still, he's been on the river in harsher conditions.

It's a great day for white water rafting.

Thus, Arlo and his girlfriend Jordan couldn't be more grateful for the decent temperatures during their excursions. Jordan even permitted him to include four of his mates to tag along. He had been surprised, especially considering her friends were just as adrenaline seeking as his own; yet she only smiled and reassured him. Now, fifteen days later, Arlo's basking in camaraderie and buzzing with anticipation.

They're waiting on their instructor to return. Though they've all been rafting before, none have under Welsh terrain. Plus, it's nice to have a local along to provide useful tidbits of information. If they're lucky, maybe even all the best local pubs to hit up tourists aren't generally made aware.

Jordan's teasing and laughing hysterically at Drew and Vladimir, no doubt their bromance she's insanely jealous of (Vlad's words, not Arlo's). Carson is showing him pictures of his three months old son.

'Why didn't you bring him along? Turn him into a junky young, brother!' Arlo ribs and slaps his friend's back.

Carson deadpans, 'Give him another couple months and we'll review his criteria.'

He guffaws and draws the attention of the others. 'Do you fancy we'll end up on the telly and little Timmy will see us?'

Jordan saunters over and hip-checks Arlo. 'I'd apologise for him, Carson, but fortunately you know he's barmy.'

'Who's barmy?' A new voice breaks in.

The group of five turns.

'Where've you been, Henry?' Vlad inquires, incredulous.

'On the phone with my wife.'

'Wishing her a fond farewell?'

'Naw, we did that before I left.'

Jordan rolls her eyes and snorts in amusement. She's opening her mouth to reply but stops midway upon spotting the instructor returning. Instead, a wicked grin stretches across her rosy cheeks and she shouts, 'I'm in front!'

The implication is Arlo will ride beside her and all his mates groan and grumble at the unfairness. He bets if they didn't have the instructor tagging on, they'd have raced down the shoreline toward the raft like primary-aged children shooting for the best spot on the jungle gym."

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