Fiction · Flash Fiction · How to be British · Language · love


Monday, July 17, 2017. Daily Brit Wit.



BRITISH for zipper.

*Here is the second part to Row. So welcome to the Seth and Lou series, I guess? 😅

"She ought to have realised how embarrassing tying a scarf for Seth had been; shouldn't have laughed like she did. Because now Lou's in a bit of a quandary herself.

'Stupid, silly, bloody thing,' she's muttering under her breath, torso twisted in order to glance at her left side. Her fingers chafe and slip. 'Ouch!'

Lou's had a thing with zips since childhood. Can't count how many times she's broken them on sweatshirts, winter coats, and even handbags for goodness sakes! But she's not having a row with one right now. Nuh uh, no way. She's deft enough, she's got this.

Her skin catches in metal and the half-millimetre it tugs upward. She howls in pain, dancing around in cyclical rings while cradling her abused appendage.

'Who even puts a zip on the side of a dress only for it to be harder than in the back,' she questions aloud, crisp and succinctly.

'Need help, Lou?'

She hangs her head in shame. He doesn't even have the decency to laugh at her! After the hysteria she entertained upon finding him a few weeks ago…the ultimate payback, and her fiancée is too sweet and good natured to retaliate. How pitiful.

Seth sidles up to her without her notice and presses a chaste kiss to her jaw, a smile evident. 'I do know your history with zippers, babe. There's no point teasing you about them.'

'I hate zips,' whines Lou. She lifts her arm obediently for easier access to the dreadful contraption. 'Why'd you let me buy this bloody dress?'

'Because I've never been able to come between my girl and her shopping habits,' he deadpans.

Huh. True enough, Lou thinks with a satisfied smirk. And gives herself a mental high-five.

'Let's hope your wedding dress is free of these things, okay?' Seth says once he's zipped her closed.

Lou gasps and pivots round into her fiancée's embrace. 'What an awful thing to say!' She shrieks, hands slapping upon his pectorals in outrage. 'I can't even remember if there are zips now! Jeez, Seth, now what can I do?!'

He's laughing now and cradling her head to his shoulder. 'Hush, silly woman. I'm sorry for throwing you into a tizzy.'

She's mollified when he smiles winningly and presses a buss to her lips quickly. Then she drags him downstairs for their final date before their marriage."

3 thoughts on “Zip

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