How to be British · Language · mini stories


Sunday, June 4, 2017. Daily Brit Wit.


Noun, informal

A dish of various types of fried food.

“Her boyfriend squints at her, blue eyes flickering from sky to sea to winter storms; and though she sees him mainly from peripheral, it makes her squirm. Her lower jaw twitches. Paul guffaws and returns to the gas stove.

‘Would you bring over the eggs, please, Harper?’ He requests and she detects three instances of his giggles. 

Her eyes finish pursuing the fridge. She grabs the eggs as requested as well as jam. She returns to Paul and he raises an inquisitive brow at her extra item. 

‘What?’ She asks defensively. ‘Mum used to always say it’s not a true fry-up without the jam.’ 

He makes a contorted face at Harper, no doubt in an attempt to suppress his entertainment. 

‘Oh, c’mon, Paul,’ she whines and glares up at him petulantly. ‘In the six years we’ve been dating, count on one hand how many times I’ve had breakfast without jam and toast. After all,’ she resists the urge to poke her boyfriend and steal a piece of bacon, ‘you can’t make a fry-up without bacon or sausage.’

Quick as a delayed camera flash, Paul releases the spatula and throws up his hands in surrender.” 


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